Honoring someone you loved, without repeating their name

Naming a child for someone you loved is one of the oldest traditions there is. But the exact name isn’t always right. Maybe it doesn’t suit your surname, or a cousin already used it, or it simply isn’t a name you’d choose today. The good news: families have always found other ways to carry a person forward.

Seven ways to honor a name

1. The name itself, as a first or middle name. The middle name is the gentlest option; it’s there for life without having to be used every day.
2. A familiar form. A grandmother called Rose might become a Rosie, a Rosa or a Rosalind.
3. Another language. A grandfather John can be honored with the Giovanni or Seán his family once used, or with the name in its original language.
4. The first letter. Many Ashkenazi Jewish families honor a relative who has died by using their initial, so a great-grandfather Samuel might inspire a Simon or a Sadie.
5. A shared sound. An echo of a name’s rhythm or opening can be enough.
6. The meaning. Dorothy and Theodora both carry the meaning “gift of God,” so one can quietly stand for the other.
7. A family surname. A maiden name as a middle name keeps a whole branch of the family present.

Living or remembered?

Traditions differ, and it’s worth knowing which your family follows. Many Ashkenazi families name children only for relatives who have died, and avoid the names of the living. Many Sephardic families do the opposite, naming children for living grandparents, an honor the grandparents get to enjoy. Some cultures, including many Chinese, Korean and Vietnamese families, avoid using an elder’s name at all, out of respect.

There’s no single right way. There’s the way that feels right to the people who loved them.

Let the Finder help

In the Finder, add the people you want to honor, mark whether they’re living or in memory, and tap the ♥ for anyone especially dear. The Finder looks for their names, familiar forms, versions in other languages, shared roots, first letters and echoes of their sound, and it tells you which link it found for each suggestion.